So you had a bad day.

Today was a dirty rotten no good stinking day. Well, it had some upsides to it. Like, when I couldn't stop crying at work so my managers told me I could go home (after they suddenly turned very motherly and fatherly towards me with advice and comforting words). And then when I got to talk to Mom when I cried my way home. And then when I sat outside eating a Popsicle cause it was the only thing I had to eat that wasn't heavy. And then when I fell asleep listening to a mp3 file of Reynolds Price reading the end of A Long and Happy Life so that I could learn to like it again (all I learned is that he had a very nice reading voice). And then when I woke up on time for FHE because someone opened the door thinking Abby had dinner group and I sat up and give him what was probably a very rude look, but it was only because I had had my face stuffed in the seam of the couch. and then when I got to go to FHE at Brother and Sister Ferrin's house (our stake high councilman and Relief Society specialist---a sweet, warm, loving and inviting couple) and we talked about Conference and I almost started to cry again when I talked about a poignant moment for me. And then when I was in the kitchen talking to Sister Ferrin and Sarah, in the living room, lifted my phone and said "Your Dad is calling" and I started to get bleary eyed before I even talked to him but kept it together until I stepped outside the front door, where I got to talk to my Dad on the phone. And then when I went to a going away party for one of my FHE brothers who is going to flight school in Alabama before going on tour in Afghanistan (let's just say my eyes weren't totally clear when I hugged him goodbye either).

It was a rough day. But those were the good points. Oh, and I did a load of laundry while I did a few homework assignments today. I don't have as many things due tomorrow, but I'm going to try and go until I can fall asleep reasonably quickly once I go to bed, which won't be until I get enough homework done to not feel so horrible about it (that was the reason of all the crying today--compounded with 3 hours of sleep).

But to stop complaining, I have great friends, coworkers, and families, all of whom reached out today to help me feel better. I realized today how much I love being surrounded by others in this gospel. Even when they weren't telling me that it would be okay, that Heavenly Father would help me through this, just the simple effect of being in their presence and feeling the combined faith and love really helped me through today. I don't think it was the most productive of days, but I learned a lot about myself and about where I can improve my faith and trust in the Lord. I know that when I reach a spot I can't climb out of myself, that the Lord will be there to pull me up, but I have to have enough faith to grab hold and use my own strength to push myself up as well. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had today to learn more about an eternal perspective, self-reliance and discipline, and trusting in the Lord to fix both the problems that I have made and others that have just come upon me, and giving Him my faith and trust.

I don't want to start another day tomorrow because I feel like I still need time to let this one sink in, but I want to be able to apply the things that I have learned. Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight so that I can.